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Coach or teach? Which do you do best?2291

Belew private msg quote post Address this user
I may be splitting hairs ... not my intention.

I find that there are lots of folks who want to coach.

I have a new client who wants coaching ... because she wants to be a coach.

I told her I don't coach. But she insisted.

I told her rather ... let me teach you how to do something that will be impactful for you.

She agreed ... and don't you know it ... while I was/am teaching her ... I get to 'coach' too.

IMHO ... people don't need coaching ... they need learning.

What do you think?


Post 1 • IP   flag post
SunilBhaskaran private msg quote post Address this user
It depends. Really. People are complicated. Coaching can be at different levels. The kind of coaching I do mostly is for people who want to create a breakthrough. Like an Olympic Athlete - people at this level need both teaching/learning and coaching. Coaching is more in the listening - paying attention to the client very keenly - observing the language and the ways that you can subtly guide them to a breakthrough. Learning / teaching is more about imparting - of course, there are overlaps between coaching and teaching. Inevitably I do both.. as I am sure you do as well.
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Belew private msg quote post Address this user
@SunilBhaskaran

Spoken like a true and experienced coach.

Coaches who coach people who know they need coaching can make a HUGE difference.

Problem is people who once gave a friend some advice that turned out well suddenly see themselves as coaches... that doesn't play out long term so well.
Post 3 • IP   flag post
SunilBhaskaran private msg quote post Address this user
Coaching becomes better with age / experience. You make mistakes. You learn. You succeed - you learn. You learn over time to notice the nuances and the complications that really do make up a person - whatever your judgments may be about that person (could be yourself!) - to take them gently by the kind shoulder and show them a different land - a different view or vista. Then give them the choice of how to proceed and be willing to dance with that choice effectively. Those are skills born out of experience.
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Belew private msg quote post Address this user
@SunilBhaskaran

Too many youngsters want to teach life lessons without having lived life yet.

What do you see as the difference between coaching and mentoring?
Post 5 • IP   flag post
SunilBhaskaran private msg quote post Address this user
Mentor = "an experienced and trusted adviser."

Coaching is an interesting derivative based on history - some people claim the word started in German Colleges in the 1800s or 1700s - where a 'coach' helped students 'move along' in progress with their studies. Coaching tends to be associated with performance - but this really changed over the years - especially since the 1960s and 1970s when 'life' programs started coming up. Then the word coach became more akin with 'life coach', business coach etc. etc.

Mentor typically means someone older taking on a younger person (e.g. Merlin and Arthur, Karate Kid, Luke Skywalker and Yoda). It is learning by example and on the ground running. I had a great mentor who was much older and much more wiser than me in 1990 - he took me under his wing and showed me the ropes - but first, I had to really prove to him that I was not a flake. Once I showed him that, he spent a lot of time and pain to teach me and guide me emotionally and intellectually as well to becoming a leader and entrepreneur and coach. BTW: in my mind, leader, mentor, coach, sales, marketing = all about the same thing - having people be great including yourself.

This mentoring is very much part of our mythical heritage (story telling through the ages) - there is a great book that describes this allegorically - "Iron John" by Robert Bly. (GREAT BOOK!)
Post 6 • IP   flag post
SunilBhaskaran private msg quote post Address this user
To add a bit more.. youth has it's advantages but has it's disadvantages. The advantage is renewed energy and a newer perspective - possible breakthroughs in thinking. The disadvantage is that youth tend to oversimplify. Oversimplifications tend to occur when one has not suffered enough through failures and successes. You need to feel the sting of both. You need to struggle to build stronger wings and then be able to teach others to fly - while speaking from your own hard earned experience and not because you read some quote or book. Experience adds that tone of voice that soothes and empowers.
Post 7 • IP   flag post
Belew private msg quote post Address this user
I suppose the reason I did not want to coach or mentor the girl I mentioned above is because I have never had the benefit of a coach or mentor ... not for lack of wanting one ... it just never happened.

I can see the benefits ...

thanks for the exchange here!
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SusanDay private msg quote post Address this user
I see the role of teacher and mentor being quite different.
Post 9 • IP   flag post
Belew private msg quote post Address this user
@SusanDay

How so?
Post 10 • IP   flag post
BigPoppi private msg quote post Address this user
Bill, you are a coach/mentor! You are aged (lol) and have first hand experiences to impart to your client.

Anyone can teach and some not well. Just look at the state of our education system.

People teach because they went to school, read a book or watched a movie, etc. and think that makes them qualified.

Even some coaches coach on theory. At one time it seemed anyone who had read a book or attended a seminar thought they could be a life coach.

Sometimes it's the failures that make one even a better coach/mentor. What mistakes not to make are as important as the decisions to make!
Post 11 • IP   flag post
SusanDay private msg quote post Address this user
Put simply-

I see a coach / mentor as someone who has your back and encourages you.

A teacher helps facilitate your learning experience in regards to gaining more knowledge and experience.

Many life coaches play both roles, and some not.

Some teachers make great mentors because they go beyond their role as a facilitator of knowledge.
Post 12 • IP   flag post
BigPoppi private msg quote post Address this user
Knowledge is one thing, applied knowledge is something else.

When someone teaches there is usually no accountability either way.

When someone hires a coach/mentor there may or not be an accountability component.

Another distinction is that coaches/mentors should be capable of deep diving into the subject matter by asking questions and challenging the client.

To me, when teaching, it's a one way street. Listen to me teach then go apply it.
Post 13 • IP   flag post
Rev private msg quote post Address this user
Just because some people take the job doesn't mean they qualify for the title. Not all those who are hired to teach are really teachers. The same is true, indeed evident, in the massive number of self-employed coaches showing up. Unfortunately many who want to learn, need to learn, end up with the wrong teacher or coach.

As Sunil says, "in my mind, leader, mentor, coach, sales, marketing = all about the same thing" -- and while I agree this may be the current state of the situation, I don't agree it is really true. There is overlap, certainly, and sometimes it is difficult to see any boundaries as they tend to blur one into the other, but these are really all differing jobs/professions. At least they were before lack of interest/concern for definition muddied the proverbial waters.

There are many who teach who probably shouldn't, and there are equally many who could teach who probably don't. As the old adage tells us, "The proof of the pudding is in the eating," so is the proof of the teacher in the outcome.

Which then leads to what is a student...
Post 14 • IP   flag post
BigPoppi private msg quote post Address this user
"A coach is someone who makes you do what you don't want to do so you can become who you want to be!" The late great coach Tom Landry
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Belew private msg quote post Address this user
@BigPoppi

Have you ever had a coach?
Post 16 • IP   flag post
BigPoppi private msg quote post Address this user
Hahaha....

Good question. No. LOL

I've had great mentors though, besides almost 40 years of in the trenches in many industries and in many capacities. Built big companies and lost my butt on some. Live and learn.

I've spent a fortune on learning as well.

You know one of my mentors that I directed you to and unfortunately the relationship didn't work out and that's Jay Abraham.

Another of mine is Dan Kennedy who I first met in 1980 before he became the legend he is today.

I also don't do Mastermind's even though they have so much value to a lot of people.

As I mentioned above its applied knowledge that is the key. My issue is too much knowledge, lol, and not enough applying. I get complacent.

Gonna be up in Santa Clara next month. Need to check dates...
Post 17 • IP   flag post
Belew private msg quote post Address this user
@BigPoppi Quote:
Originally Posted by BigPoppi
didn't work out and that's Jay Abraham.


I wrote a couple of articles and they fired the editor (not my fault) ... and the new guy or gal ... I don't know.

Lemme know when you are around ... it'll be good to catch up.
Post 18 • IP   flag post
BigPoppi private msg quote post Address this user
I wasn't saying you did anything wrong...lol

Just making a statement that some don't need coaches because they may here mentors even if they don't work with them one on one. I've been blessed with working with our studying the very best...

I learned from you as well. Just didn't want to work that hard...lol
Post 19 • IP   flag post
Belew private msg quote post Address this user
@BigPoppi

Timing is important. Timing is often better when one is busy and about.

You have a gift of being a connector.

You just need to be in situations where connections can happen.

It amazed me how you coul do that.

Why not do it more often?
Post 20 • IP   flag post
BigPoppi private msg quote post Address this user
Being complacent.. Spending lots of time with family.

Alex has become a mini-me. Running Facebook campaigns and creating funnels for local biz owners and he's still 17. He's planning on moving out after summer which hit me hard when he told me.

He's doing it because his girl from church youth group is going to Fresno State on a diving scholarship and to be a nurse. He wants to be closer.

I haven't been to a network event in years. So much easier to reach those people without leaving home with Facebook and LinkedIn. It is easy live though...
Post 21 • IP   flag post
BigPoppi private msg quote post Address this user
Maybe I should stock MeetUps? LOL
Post 22 • IP   flag post
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