BillBelew.com
Email MarketingFeedback

Snagging Qualified Leads/Referrals2514

Member KathrynLang private msg quote post Address this user
I have been challenged to send out 100 emails to friends and connections over the next 2 weeks in order to build up my business.

1. Do you have experience doing this?

2. What would you add/subtract from my current email? (I'm going to send emails individually so the opening will be personalized).

# # #

Sample email:


The first year I coached swim team, I challenged each swimmer to stop looking around at what others were doing and to be more in their own lane. In other words, “Don’t tell me who you beat, tell me how much you beat your own time.”

I knew the lessons learned in the water could be applied to life.

It touched my heart the next year – even though I wasn’t coaching – when swimmers came up to me at the District Competition to report how many seconds they had taken off their time.

Life is not about what others are doing, but about what I am doing. The actions I take, the steps I choose - those make the differences in my life and in the lives of those around me.

I have been blessed with many opportunities to encourage others in the way that I was able to encourage many of those swimmers. Each time, I have focused on how to make the journey work not by the rules and dictates of others, but through the understanding of individual uniqueness and desire.

Most of my encouragement has been done behind the scenes. It is time for me to once again take up my whistle and step out on the stage.

You may not know this, but I work with others to help define, map, and pursue their unique place.

I am currently offering FREE 30-minute jump start sessions to provide that boost of focus to move things forward for those that are stuck, unsure, or tired of spinning their wheels in the sand.

Are you ready? I have openings right now. **will add a link to my coaching page - but don't want to break the rules here**

Who do you know struggling or searching? I want to help. Please consider reaching out to them to share this opportunity. Sometimes, all we need to take the next step or to get moving again is that little boost.

Together we are stronger and can do more than we ever imagined possible. Thank you for joining me in this journey.

Be blessed,

Kathryn
Post 1 • IP   flag post
Top Contributor Steve private msg quote post Address this user
@KathrynLang your email is nice but it's all about you?

Perhaps you could consider making it about your target customer... ie Do you want to achieve (whatever) i can help you acieve this in 60 dats... etc..

Just an idea, me i know nothing.
Post 2 • IP   flag post
Member gspieler private msg quote post Address this user
@KathrynLang

I like how you start out by advising the kids to focus on their own success.

I also want to know "What can you do for me?" as @Steve mentions above.

Best
Post 3 • IP   flag post
Member KathrynLang private msg quote post Address this user
Quote:
Originally Posted by KathrynLang
I am currently offering FREE 30-minute jump start sessions to provide that boost of focus to move things forward for those that are stuck, unsure, or tired of spinning their wheels in the sand.


Okay - I changed this bit to:

Get your FREE 30-minute jump start sessions to provide that boost of focus to move things forward. We all struggle at times. If you are stuck, unsure, or tired of spinning your wheels in the sand then let’s talk.

Is that enough of "what can you do for me?" I'm trying to keep the story and add the "what can you do for me" without making the email too long.
Post 4 • IP   flag post
Member gspieler private msg quote post Address this user
@KathrynLang.

Perfect. Yes. I really like the "Let's talk." Down to earth, so to speak.
Post 5 • IP   flag post
Member KathrynLang private msg quote post Address this user
@gspieler That's what I want - I want it to be comfortable and down to earth and friend to friend.

Thanks for the help.
Post 6 • IP   flag post
Top Contributor Steve private msg quote post Address this user
@KathrynLang

Still not getting it... and still not understanding why you want to tell your story over various paragraphs and just one for the pitch.

Im still not rven sure what you do, other than get people to focus.

In my ecperience people want to achirve something... i often use, Do you want to double the amount of business you do online? I can help you do this in as little as 90 days?

What I'm doing is using a pain point or a want, telling them i can solve it and then including a timeframe...

I would then typically give away one tip that they can easily implement and gain some benefit... whilst they get added to a funnel of some sort.

Just throwing tbis out there...
Post 7 • IP   flag post
Teacher SusanDay private msg quote post Address this user
@KathrynLang I understand what you are doing. I did a course earlier this year, and they said the 2nd email of 3 should be about you. (The first is the "here's your free .." email)

But the second is designed to help create a connection. It's not meant to be too saleys because this is what puts people off.

The third email is the one with the offer in it. No. 2 email designed to help people realize you are a human being who has undergone issues which you have overcome - issues you can relate too. It's about establishing your credentials on a person level.

I would suggest the opposite of what the others have offered above. I suggest you lose the "I'm offering..." and save that for the next email. These emails should go out a few hours apart.

Piquing someone's interest about you, and leaving them wanting more is not such a bad idea. Especially when everyone is inundated with "buy me" "look at me" crap.

Separate your target and see which one works best. That's always a good option.

But IMHO I know which email I would rather read, and what I would connect with
Post 8 • IP   flag post
Member KathrynLang private msg quote post Address this user
Okay - I've reworked the email some (thanks to your suggestions). This email will only be sent out to people that I have some connection with already - it is not a cold call email. That being said, I still want to make it personal to a point because I like stories

This email would be one page currently - under 500 words.

# # #

The first year I coached a swim team, I challenged each swimmer to stop looking around at what others were doing and to be more in their own lane. In other words, “Don’t tell me who you beat, tell me how much you beat your own time.”

I knew the lessons learned in the water could be applied to life.

It touched my heart the next year – even though I wasn’t coaching – when swimmers came up to me at the District Competition to report how many seconds they had taken off their time.

Life is not about what others are doing, but about what I am doing. The actions I take, the steps I choose - those make the differences in my life and in the lives of those around me.

I have been blessed with many opportunities to encourage others in the way that I was able to encourage many of those swimmers. Each time, I have focused on how to make the journey work not by the rules and dictates of others, but through the understanding of individual uniqueness and desire.

Most of my encouragement has been done behind the scenes. It is time for me to once again take up my whistle and step out on the stage.

You may not know this, but I work with others to help define, map, and pursue their unique place.

Get your FREE 30-minute jump start sessions to provide that boost of focus to move things forward. We all struggle at times. If you are stuck, unsure, or tired of spinning your wheels in the sand then let’s talk.

If you are determined to focus on crafting the right plan to take your next step . . .
If you are eager to discover your unique place and begin to develop ideas to live it out with boldness . . .
If you are searching for the plan that will allow you to get the words flowing . . .
If you need the encouragement, accountability, and guide for getting your book written . . .
If you are ready to turn your blog into a book . . .

I have openings right now and I want to help you.

Who do you know struggling or searching? I am here for them. Please consider reaching out to them to share this opportunity. Sometimes, all we need to take the next step or to get moving again is that little boost.

Together we are stronger and can do more than we ever imagined possible. Thank you for joining me in this journey.

Be blessed,

Kathryn
Post 9 • IP   flag post
Member gspieler private msg quote post Address this user
Hi @KatherynLang:

You are working very hard on this. Good for you. I have a couple of gentle suggestions:
In order to make it a bit shorter...maybe it's me, but I start to glaze over when something is longer in email.

For what it's worth: I would take out this graph below as I don't think it adds much. We know where you are coming from: "I have been blessed with many opportunities to encourage others in the way that I was able to encourage many of those swimmers. Each time, I have focused on how to make the journey work not by the rules and dictates of others, but through the understanding of individual uniqueness and desire."

Lose this one: Most of my encouragement has been done behind the scenes. It is time for me to once again take up my whistle and step out on the stage.

And lose, "You may not know this, but" I work with others to help define, map, and pursue their unique place.

Great stuff. Hope this
Post 10 • IP   flag post
Forum Owner Belew private msg quote post Address this user
@KathrynLang TL;DR
Post 11 • IP   flag post
Forum Owner Belew private msg quote post Address this user
If you want to drum up biz ... don't email them, call them.

If you want to drum up biz ... don't ask your friends to do biz with you, ask them to introduce someone to you.

If you want to drum up biz ... don't ask your connections, ask your clients who have a history with you to ask their connections.
Post 12 • IP   flag post
Member KathrynLang private msg quote post Address this user
Quote:
Originally Posted by Belew
TL;DR


I'm guessing "TL" is too long

But not sure about the "DR"
Post 13 • IP   flag post
Forum Owner Belew private msg quote post Address this user
Too long; Didn't read.

I think your email is way too long.
Post 14 • IP   flag post
Teacher Rev private msg quote post Address this user
Or BAS-WTS!

But I do agree; an email shouldn't be a blog post. In fact, you may want to create a short, inviting, email that brings them back to a longer, more involved, blog post or opt-in page.

I know. Not everyone will click through to the post. That's what the funnel is all about -- filtering. Think about it; those who don't click through are the same people who wouldn't read your long email anyway.
Post 15 • IP   flag post
Teacher SusanDay private msg quote post Address this user
@KathrynLang Read the first few words in each paragraph quickly.

What happens when you get to. .. "Get" ?

Can you feel /hear it?
Post 16 • IP   flag post
Member FrugalTravelsNepal private msg quote post Address this user
You don't have your link to tell them what you are really wanting from them. Don't you have a link to something about the offer? I am coming from the consumers' prospective and it seems like I get offers like this all day long. Yesterday I clicked to get something about 7 secrets to getting more followers or subscribers but after I gave my info and went to my email and then back to the site and clicked again I got something that wasn't about 7 whatevers at all. That happens quite often and often the links don't work properly. I've done that, too.

I've set through so many siminars that are obvious infomertials that I've run out of patience. Sometimes when I go to a blog post from Twitter or something and the big box comes up and won't let me look at the article until I subscribe- I just move on. They get a bounce out of me, which google doesn't like. It seems like every blog post I read is nothing more than a commercial to sell something. I don't mind, but give them something to demonstrate that you have something of value.
Post 17 • IP   flag post
Teacher SusanDay private msg quote post Address this user
@FrugalTravelsNepal I couldn't agree more. Well said!
Post 18 • IP   flag post
Teacher Rev private msg quote post Address this user
@FrugalTravelsNepal

Look for my Monday presentation on security and backup/restore (in another thread). It's a 2pm U.S. Central Time which will be late for you... 12:45am (just after midnight) in Nepal, but doable if you have an afternoon nap! Information, not infomercial, and no sales pitch at the end, either. True actionable stuff without selling. And it's free!
Post 19 • IP   flag post
Member KathrynLang private msg quote post Address this user
@FrugalTravelsNepal The actual email does have a direct link to the signup form. I didn't include it in this forum because I didn't want to violate the rules.

Thanks for all the ideas. I've made some adjustments and clarified a few things. It's still longer than @Belew and @Rev but I wanted to keep the story feel while adding the invite as well.
Post 20 • IP   flag post
Forum Owner Belew private msg quote post Address this user
@KathrynLang

I am just one opinion. .. short attention span that it is.

Most ppl who open up an unsolicited email don't read it. They scan to see how long it will take to read. While scanning they read the headers and look at the image/s to decide if they will go back and read the whole thing.

Short with good headers and images will perform much better than the good story that doesn't even get read.
Post 21 • IP   flag post
Top Contributor Steve private msg quote post Address this user
Best two way i have ever found to get referrals is

1. The How's Things Call

Call a friend, business contact and simply ask how's things? It's amazing how many people will say I was just thinking about you.

2. The Referral Step

Within your marketing plan, once you finish a job or start to deliver something... then simply ask, I'm expanding and was wondering who you might know that could use my services?

Can't get much easier than that can it?
Post 22 • IP   flag post
Member gspieler private msg quote post Address this user
Yes. These are things we have to keep reminding ourselves. Basic best practice.

It's the proverbial last question of an interview for a story: "Who would you suggest I talk to about this XXXX?"
Post 23 • IP   flag post
Forum Owner Belew private msg quote post Address this user
Is a lead somebody who might want I want them to want or somebody who's want is something I can satisfy?
Post 24 • IP   flag post
Member KathrynLang private msg quote post Address this user
"A" qualified lead is someone I know that can afford what I am offering and that would want what I am offering.

"B" qualified lead is someone that could afford what I am offering and would want what I am offering.

"C" qualified lead is someone who could afford what I am offering and MIGHT want what I am offering.

The great thing about leads is there is always a chance they can lead to more leads. Which leads me to an idea . . . when I sold knives in college I challenge people to give me the contact information for 10 leads and I would give them a free pair of our scissors. I got some great leads that way. So now, I need to come up with an offer that would be equally as enticing with my coaching.
Post 25 • IP   flag post
29624 25 25
Log in or sign up to compose a reply.
destitute