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Help! I am a terrible judge of character893

Forum Owner Belew private msg quote post Address this user
I am tired of being burned.
I am tired of having my time wasted.
I am tired of dealing with people who don't follow through.
I am afraid that I am tired of trusting people.




For good or for bad ... I can see potential in almost any situation ... in any person.

But in the end, if I am honest with myself and them, sometimes the potential is just potential ... never realized. And my time and energy and effort and optimism is lost.

I am no good at judging people any more. Was I ever?

How do you decide who to work with?
How do you decide when to cut the ties that bind and move on?
Post 1 • IP   flag post
Member dono2081 private msg quote post Address this user
People don't change, generally. I ask what their last 3 professional partnerships were like. I'm looking for a theme so I know what to expect.

Also, make small bets. A small, 'probationary' project is a great test for a larger Vision.

-D
Post 2 • IP   flag post
Forum Owner Belew private msg quote post Address this user
@dono2081

I get emotionally invested in projects quite early on. That's a fault of mine.

I need to perhaps distance myself from getting too involved too soon.

It's a fault. I see potential everywhere. And sometimes it just isn't there.
Post 3 • IP   flag post
Member dono2081 private msg quote post Address this user
I encourage you to honor your enthusiasm and investment. It's awesome that you get excited!

And ...

You can now protect your time, energy and enthusiasm thru this little filter you're adding on.

It's all good.

-D
Post 4 • IP   flag post
Member morrnel private msg quote post Address this user
I would rather make the assumption you are a good person and have you prove me wrong.

I keep President Reagan's comment in mind. "Trust but verify"
Post 5 • IP   flag post
Member Tashagabrielle private msg quote post Address this user
I'm the exact same way as you are in that particular regard but I usually like yo strike up a little conversation with them prior to deciding whether or not to partner up with them and trust my gut. Sensing someone's vibe can be a good place to start since your body is probably interpreting a lot more than you think.
Post 6 • IP   flag post
Member dono2081 private msg quote post Address this user
Do not sleep with someone on the first date.
Post 7 • IP   flag post
Member mcc private msg quote post Address this user
It's better to err on the side of enthusiasm than to turn into a bitter cynic. The people who fail to follow through or take advantage of you in some way will pay for that in one way or the other. It's not a good way to live, so I'm sure they feel terrible.

But that's not the question. How can you tell who or what to stick with? I think the filter @dono2081 suggests is excellent. Maybe before you embark on a project with someone, decide how far you'll go before giving up -- or what the signs are that tell you the person/project isn't worth your time and investment.
Post 8 • IP   flag post
Forum Owner Belew private msg quote post Address this user
@mcc Thanks for the encouragement!
Post 9 • IP   flag post
Top Contributor Steve private msg quote post Address this user
I trust everyone and no one ...

You meet some of the best people in the world on the Internet
You meet some of the worst people in the world on the Internet

I work on the basis of trusting everyone, following my gut and helping anyone up to a point ... I don't work on promises, I don't give things away and that means lots of time ... a little time I don't mind...

There are people that give and people that take, you can see this in the forum ... for those that give, I give more ... for those that take I give less.
Post 10 • IP   flag post
Forum Owner Belew private msg quote post Address this user
I find myself in a lot of give and take relationships.

I give. ... they take.
Post 11 • IP   flag post
Member tienny private msg quote post Address this user
@Belew I understand. Even I give until my tank is drained. That is the reason I am looking for a full time job though I wish to do my business. I love teamwork. And I also care about others' time too.
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Top Contributor Steve private msg quote post Address this user

Post 13 • IP   flag post
Member fredhoot private msg quote post Address this user
Plus a really good background check which reveals social media stuff as well as criminal/civil actions can often reveal warnings.
Post 14 • IP   flag post
Member morrnel private msg quote post Address this user
Do a check on me and you will find a preacher and undertaker. What do you suppose that means?
Post 15 • IP   flag post
Member fredhoot private msg quote post Address this user
@morrnel, that's an easy question. You prepare people before they die and then prepare their shell for the other side of the grass.

So you are a well-prepared person!
Post 16 • IP   flag post
Member lunar_ranger private msg quote post Address this user
Trust is earned over a period of time. I have come across many people in my life that have exhibited lots of enthusiasm initially with a chosen direction and than found themselves profoundly disappointed when their expectations couldn't align with the reality of the situation. Stay enthusiastic, but align your expectations realistically. A nice slow burn man...it catches better, burns brighter, burns longer.
Post 17 • IP   flag post
Member lunar_ranger private msg quote post Address this user
Past expectations become future regrets. Also what this guy says:

Post 18 • IP   flag post
Forum Owner Belew private msg quote post Address this user
@lunar_ranger

If only clients could this.
People want to give me $500 or less and start making it back in the next month.

If I could spend $500 and make $1000, I'd do that forever. Who wouldn't?
Post 19 • IP   flag post
Member dono2081 private msg quote post Address this user
and why would you do it for someone else?

I dunno ... sometimes people miss the G,BO -- glaringly, blindingly obvious.
Post 20 • IP   flag post
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